Dec. 5/ Ep.2/ Feeling Snappy? Practical Solutions for Managing Stress and Overwhelm
Are you tired of feeling irritable and snapping at your kids, your husband, or even your coworkers? From one busy working mom to another: there are ways to overcome stress & overwhelm that don’t require hiring a nanny or quitting your job (who can afford that anyway?).
I want to share how I went from being snappy and feeling frozen under the weight of my responsibilities, to creating the kind of life I want to live.
Your snappiness may seem like the fault of those in your life who annoy you.
There may be some truth in that, but the real “why” behind your irritability is stress and overwhelm. Why stressed & overwhelmed? You have too much to do! And you need some energy protection. I’m going to show some steps you can take to get upwards of 30% of your personal time back and enjoy more emotional stability. By the end of this post, you’ll have actionable steps to reduce stress and feel more patient, focused, and energized in your day-to-day life.
When stress and overwhelm creep in, they don’t just sit quietly in the background.
They demand your attention. One of the most frustrating outcomes is how easily irritation bubbles to the surface. You find yourself snapping at your kids when they’re simply asking for help, rolling your eyes at your partner for no real reason, or losing your patience with a coworker who needs your input. These moments leave you feeling guilty because you love and respect these people deeply. Yet, the weight of stress can feel so heavy that you just don’t have the emotional capacity to handle things as gracefully as you’d like.
Stress also has a way of clouding your mind. At work, you may find yourself staring at your computer screen, unable to focus, and falling behind on your deadlines. At home, this mental exhaustion might mean you forget important dates or struggle to make decisions.
It often leads to procrastination—not because you’re lazy or don’t want to get things done, but because your mental and emotional energy is so drained that even starting a task feels impossible. Over time, this avoidance can chip away at your sense of accomplishment and joy, leaving you feeling stuck in a cycle of stress and unmet needs.
If this feels familiar, know that you’re not alone—and it’s not your fault.
Life’s demands can pile up, making it challenging to show up as the person you want to be. The good news is that with the right strategies and support, you can break free from this cycle and start to feel more like yourself again
When you can go through your days feeling more emotionally stable, it makes you feel in control of your life. You feel like you’re responding instead of reacting to everything, and there’s a lot of power in being able to respond instead of react because you’re making a conscious choice instead of being driven by a stress-induced habit.
My own stress and overwhelm was greatly lowered when I realized that I wasn’t asking others in my household to contribute as much as they should.
I love weekends because it’s two days off from a corporate work week, but in the past I’ve also cringed at the thought of a weekend in the sense that I had all these chores to accomplish. The thought of washing the dishes, doing all the laundry, scrubbing the floors, changing sheets and prepping food on my two “days off” made me feel overwhelmed before I even got started.
I got tired of this cycle and thought to myself, I’m one of 5 people in this household, why am I doing the lion’s share? NOTE: I don’t want this to come off as a man- or husband-bashing blog because it’s not. I have a husband who is helpful, takes care of the “outside of the house” stuff, and will do pretty much anything I ask of him (yes there are men out there like that).
But that’s the problem - I wasn’t asking very much. I was doing things that I decided my kids could do themselves. So I instituted the “do your own laundry” rule with my two older children who were 9 and 11 at the time. I showed them what to do, and I let it go. If they wake up on Monday mornings and have no clothes to wear to school because they forgot to do their laundry over the weekend, it’s not my problem, it’s theirs.
I also started having my daughters do dishes one evening per week as a regular chore instead of just asking them to do it when I was so tired or overwhelmed that I just couldn’t get it done. I taught both of my daughters how to clean bathrooms and scrub floors. I’ve even had them wipe down kitchen cabinets. I started having my two younger children take turns feeding our 5 animals their dinner and giving them their medications when they get home from After School instead of doing that myself every day.
It certainly doesn’t come without its occasional challenges: the rolling eyes, the deep sighs and the complaining. But I feel like I’ve gotten about 30% of my personal time back. And I know it might sound selfish but I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that while I’m doing this, I’m teaching my children how to take care of themselves. I’m preparing them for their future lives as adults. That has since become apparent to me, so whenever they complain, I say this is their on-the-job training for how to take care of themselves and their homes when they don’t live with mommy and daddy anymore. You’re welcome!
Not having so much to do has helped the brain fog lift and I’ve been able to accomplish so many awesome things with that extra time. I learned how to play the cello and joined a local orchestra, and I took a certification course to become a health coach and start my own business.
Reduce Stress & Overwhelm Strategy 1: Speak up when you need help.
If you have a husband, partner or children who could be contributing more to lower your stress & overwhelm levels, sit down and have a family meeting.
Use “I” statements like “I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and could use some help with X.” This approach focuses on your experience without assigning blame, making it easier for others to step in and help.
Be specific, not general. Don’t say I could use some help with “chores.” Write down a list of things that you do in a week that someone else could help with, and have others in the household identify which ones they will do. If your kids don’t volunteer, assign them out.
Make a plan. Not only identify who is going to do the tasks, but identify which days they are going to take place and what are the ramifications if those things don’t get done (that’s setting a boundary).
What if you’re a single mom with young kids and don’t have anyone else in your life you can rely on to be a family support system just now? Seek support outside the home, such as a local teenager who is looking to earn some cash and can help with chores a couple times per week. Or if you’re privileged enough to be able to afford it, you can find a professional cleaner to help. Be sure to check in with your employer’s benefits, some employers offer discounted use of services such as Care at Work where you can find local cleaners and other types of personal services, such as child care. Perhaps the help you want is someone to watch the children while you spend time cleaning because that gives you satisfaction. There’s no one size fits all.
Reduce Stress & Overwhelm Strategy 2: Protect your precious energy.
Part of the reason we get irritable is because we’re leaking our precious energy all over the place. Let me give you an example. I’m a pianist and when I was in college, I was serving as the piano accompanist for vocalists who were performing at a university function. I told all the singers that I needed the sheet music at least 6 weeks prior to the luncheon so I had enough time in my schedule to learn the music and be proficient at it. A couple weeks before the event we showed up for a rehearsal and one of the vocalists, who had not given me any music, handed me a 6-pager in the key of E major. I declined and said she would have to find someone else to play her accompaniment at the luncheon. Why? Because I knew I would spend a lot of energy the next two weeks trying to learn that piece. And it was energy that I needed to channel into other things, such as my school work and the music that the other vocalists had given me on time. And if I decided to go against the boundary I had set, I would get stressed out trying to appease this person who, by the way, I didn’t even know.
How often do we allow ourselves to get stressed out because we either didn’t set a boundary in the first place, or we did and then we let someone walk all over it? Have you ever had one of those moments when you agreed to do something even when every part of your being told you not to? We need to listen to our inner selves more.
Reduce Stress & Overwhelm Strategy 3: Be Intentional with your Time.
I know time management sounds pretty cliche and in corporate settings it’s an overused buzzword. But honestly, it’s important, and not just at work. How do you structure your time? Are you really good at structuring your time when you’re at work, but awful at it when it comes to home life? Maybe that’s because you’re rebelling against having structure because life feels too damned structured already. I get it and I’ve been there.
But let me share with you something that I do, to help me stay on track personally. On Sunday afternoons I sit down and look at the calendar for the week (I use Google calendar on my phone) and make sure that all the “need to do” things like doctor appointments and meetings are in my calendar. Then I open a Notes app on my phone and make a list of the things I WANT to do that week. Go for a walk on Tuesday because it’s supposed to be warm and sunny. Read 50 pages of a book I just picked up. Work on a writing course I purchased. Play my piano for 30 minutes without interruption. I choose what day I’m going to do each of these WANT things and what days I’m doing the NEED things, and plug it into the notes app. Now I’ve got my plan for the week.
All in all this takes me about 15 minutes, which in the grand scheme of things is not a lot of time. I mean, you can get lost scrolling on Facebook or Instagram for an hour, so taking 15 minutes to plan out your week isn’t that big of a lift. Now you’ve got a plan, and the great thing is you can choose to follow it or not. For example, I might write down that on Monday evening I”m going to practice my cello. But if I have a super stressful day at work and my energy isn’t lined up with that when the time comes, I can make a choice. I can either do it anyway, or slot it under a different evening. You just have to decide what’s important to you to accomplish in the time that you’ve got - and remember to protect your energy.
Reduce Stress & Overwhelm Strategy 4: Balance your Blood Sugar.
Part of the feeling of stress and overwhelm can stem from blood sugar imbalances. If your nutrition isn’t conducive to stable blood sugar, it can cause you to feel hangry and you might mistake this for being irritable because of what’s going on around you, when it’s actually stemming from either being really hungry or experiencing the crash after you consume a lot of glucose (refined carbs).
This is also how some people feel after consuming caffeine and I’ve experienced this in my own life. I used to think I was really irritated in the mornings, maybe because I was stressed about having to go to work or helping the kids get ready for school, but I learned that caffeine was a contributing factor. Now I don’t drink any caffeine without first putting some healthy fat or protein in my stomach, like a palmful of walnuts, to help counter the effects and I’ve found that I’m a lot calmer in the mornings.
This can also happen if you like to work out in the mornings “fasted,” meaning not consuming any nutrition before you plunge into your exercise routine. That can definitely put you in an irritable state due to your body not having had the fuel it needs to not only get through your workout but also power through your morning routine before you sit down to eat breakfast. Ideally, you give your body some nutrition before you work out and eat a healthy breakfast within an hour of your workout, if possible.
What if you don’t drink coffee and don’t work out in the morning? You can still experience irritability due to blood sugar issues if you’re not pairing your carb intake with healthy protein and fat. Your coworker will seem a lot more annoying if your breakfast was a bowl of cereal vs. some scrambled eggs with spinach, a slice of ham and a piece of whole grain toast.
How are time management and boundary-setting different?
You might be wondering about this boundary setting stuff. There’s a lot of talk about it these days but what does it look like, and isn’t asking someone for help the same as setting a boundary?
I say it isn’t, because setting a boundary is more about protecting your energy, whereas asking others for help is more about time management. Let me provide an example. One of the chores I’ve given my oldest daughter is to scoop the cat litter boxes twice per week. That means I get time back because it’s not my chore. However, twice a week I used to find myself reminding my daughter that scooping the cat boxes is her chore to do.
Her 14-year-old brain just can’t seem to remember to do it. Having to constantly remind her is an energy drain on me. So the boundary I set with her is that if I have to remind her to scoop the cat boxes, not only does she still have to do it, but I dock her allowance 50% that week. And I’ve kept that boundary and docked her pay when I had to remind her. She almost never forgets to do it anymore (I mean come on, she’s still 14). So having her do the cat boxes gives me time back so it’s a time management strategy, and not having to remind her to do it multiple times per week protects my energy, so it’s a boundary setting strategy.
I know you’re tired of being snappy (and so are the people you live and work with!)
When stress, overwhelm, and irritability take over, it can feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of snapping at loved ones, struggling to focus, and putting off the things that matter most. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
By asking for the help you need, setting boundaries to protect your energy, managing your time with intention and addressing blood sugar imbalances, you can create space to feel calmer and more in control. These small but powerful changes can help you show up as the best version of yourself—for your family, your work, and most importantly, for you.
Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone, and taking steps to care for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s the key to living the balanced, fulfilling life you deserve.
If you’re ready to take control of your stress and start feeling more patient, focused, and energized, I’d love to help. Go to www.coach-care.net and sign up for a free consultation with me. Together we’ll explore how 1:1 coaching can support you in implementing these strategies and creating lasting change.
